Oh hey

I was going to start this out the typical way and apologize for my lack of recent blogging.

I'm not, though- life happens, sorry I don't update as frequently, the only people who read this probably already talk to me enough to know what's going on with me in real life so whatever. Please see this "Get your shit together" e-mail correspondence between an NYU student and professor to see what I'm talking about.

Cool.

Okay so LIFE! What's been happening is I am applying for a cool job with Environment America. The interview is scarily in LA on Saturday, I'm driving from Vegas (yay spring break 2010) so that's crazy. Earlier this year I had vague intentions of getting back to Ldn over spring break but clearly things turned out differently. As has so, so, so much else. In terms of other school/being a real person things, I have started the second draft of my thesis! Exciting..kinda. It just solidifies the fact that reality is ever-encroaching and one day I will join the realm of the real world.

In terms of personal shit, I have been feeling really good this semester about so much. I have had a huge sense of closure in a lot of areas, I have pretty successfully cut all unnecessary ties, lost the overwhelming sense of obligation that has kept me from fully enjoying life for as long as I can remember, stopped focusing on the negative and just been enjoying myself. I have a lot of laughs, a lot of good times with people I'm beginning to realize I will miss more than my own family and just been trying to make sense of this bittersweet period of life that they call your last semester. I will admit that the same feelings of Tucson stiflation do occasionally occur, although way way way less frequently now that I am more involved in the community here, know the right people and am 21.

I guess the source of any loneliness I have now is just from not having a significant other or near prospects for the first time in a really long time. I was having a hard time getting over everything post-London, but now the tables have pretty much been cleared, but there is just no one with whom I find interesting enough to invest time into developing a relationship. I wish that wasn't the case, but it is. Every time I go out, I have vague expectations but they are hardly ever fulfilled. I surely have a block of nostalgia that holds me down and weird things bring it out. Recently, vh1 playing When Harry Met Sally and a phone call tonight from someone with whom I was really involved from high school kind of perpetuated this phenomenon.

Something that has changed is my writing for myself, or really my lack of it. I don't write anything hardly at all anymore, god damn you school for ruining a passion to just shreds and pieces, but that's hardly an excuse. I've written one good poem that I might share with you all if it ever comes up... blah blah blah

I don't really know what to write here, I feel like I can't be as open as I'd like because it's come to my attention that people I never assumed would actually do read this. I need to just have a real journal, might get rid of this puppy altogether..